I was never a child or teenager wandering through life with uncertainty about my path. I have always known who I was and what I like. To some of you, this will sound arrogant; it isn't.
There is great power in authenticity & feminine energy. If my confidence offends you, perhaps it’s time to reflect on your own insecurities. If you find yourself drowning in excess—be it alcohol, unfaithfulness, or other vices—then it’s best to focus on your journey rather than mine.
But, if you must know, I recently indulged in a catered lunch on set, flanked by Emmy Award winners and the charming Ethan Hawke. A delightful day, indeed.
Yet, amidst the celebratory moments, there are still aspects of life that puzzle me. For instance, I’ve lost loved ones, and I often grapple with the strange reality of their absence. I saw them laid to rest, yet my mind, like a child, struggles to comprehend their departure.
What I know for certain is what I stand for. I know that I am powerful. Not everyone likes that, but that's not my issue.
I learned early on in grade school that not everyone would appreciate me—thank you to those less-than-average classmates who inadvertently shaped the woman I am today. Some may be nervous to walk onto a major motion picture sound stage. I'm not. I went to Tweedsmuir Public School. Not much scares me now.
I feel destined for greatness and joy. I've never felt bad about that. I have never wished anyone less in my pursuit of a fulfilling life. While some view my aspirations with skepticism, perhaps suggesting I “be realistic,” I find that advice unwarranted. Why should anyone limit their dreams? I have never fantasized about becoming a leprechaun or raising miniature ponies who can fly. My aspirations are simple: to be wealthy, renowned, surrounded by friends and family. To be content and maintain the ability to access what I need when I need it.
I believe in the power of manifestation; I am living proof that the universe responds. Having financial means makes acquiring necessities significantly more feasible—that’s not a fantasy; that’s reality. Was I frustrated that others—well-meaning or not—tried to temper my ambitions for fear of my disappointment? Absolutely. My suggestion (to anyone) is to allow your loved ones to experience disappointment. Empower them to discover new avenues to achieve their dreams.
Rest assured, everyone will benefit when you assist me in my journey. You can show support by purchasing products from my online shop here.
Support doesn’t hinge solely on financial assistance. I’m not soliciting money from friends. Some of my most treasured allies are those who’ve championed me in my darkest hours and remained by my side without expecting anything in return. Loyalty begets loyalty in my world.
Am I focused on my own needs? Yes. Once those needs are fulfilled, I extend my support to the people I cherish and to those who cross my path with kindness. I am a fairly nice person, most of the time. My capacity for generosity runs deep, and I have, at times, felt disconnected and unsupported. It took me thirty-six years to ask for help not out of weakness but from a long-standing independence that led to my burning out.
This is not feminine energy. I believe that the "Boss Babe" trend was designed to make women work harder, give up more and expect even less. This is not feminism. Why should we have to "do it all"? I don't want to! Men aren't "doing it all" because they physically can't, and even if they could, they probably wouldn't. That doesn't make them lazy- it makes them smart.
Self-love means having the ability to attract people who treat you well and distance yourself from those who don't. When someone pays me a compliment, I say thank you. I don't correct them. That would be insane. You don't refuse compliments, ok? That's rude. If someone takes me out for a nice meal? I say thank you! I don't tell them, "You're too kind." Too kind? No such thing. Tell them you can't wait to go out again. If you don't believe you're worth a beautiful night out, why should anyone else?
I don't like people who mope. Life is hard; don't make it harder. People make mistakes, and people grow. The people who don't are making a choice. Don't surround yourself with people whom you envision as a project. You're not God; you're probably not a therapist and even if you are you shouldn't be treating your family or intimate partner. There are laws about that, for good reason.
Unless you're someone's Mom. and the project is your child-- you are not to be fixing anyone but yourself. If you can never find the right person, the issue is not everyone else. The issue is you. Improve yourself. If you read this and you thought, " Oh Kim! That's mean"
You 100% need improvement.
Go to the gym
Get a therapist
Call your best friend
Make new friends
Get a hobby and a haircut
Go on a trip -- and not so you can meet someone
Get a life
Stop begging people to fix you or trying to fix someone else. It's too much. People have their own struggles. If you don't try to help yourself they will resent you for it.
As a hair and makeup artist, people confide in me, and I take pride in the fact that I've gained their trust but even I can only take so much. I have become permanently unavailable to certain people who need me for more than hairstyling. I can't fix your marriage and if you're killing the positive vibe of the client next to you because you're feeling so low, and every time I see you, you're so low--- I am not a nurse or a doctor, and you need to see one, instead of a blowout or another set of highlights.
My instincts and vision rarely steer me wrong; I refer to this as my “witch vibes.” I am acutely aware of my surroundings and emotions. While some may label this sensitivity as a flaw, I consider it a superpower. I recognize my limitations—I don’t require constant reminders. Should I devote energy to focusing on my flaws? Certainly not. This sort of fixation has never served anyone. My struggles won’t lift you. If they do, you need far more help than I could ever provide. To those who find pleasure in causing someone else pain, I say, please, go brush your teeth, find a purpose and stop messaging other people's partners on the internet.
Once when asked about her aspirations, Goldie Hawn said, “I want to be happy.”
I relate deeply to that. I’ve consistently found joy and turned adversity into opportunity. I relish in happiness, and although my (Sagittarian) honesty can be brutal, I genuinely care for people.
Putting myself first allows me to take better care of others when they need me. No one needs me all the time. I don't have children. If someone needs me all the time, I don't need them. I feel no obligation to mother an adult. That does not fill my cup. It annoys me.
If you look at the thumbnail photo attached to this blog post and you think to yourself
"That resonates with how I feel! I give and give, and I get nothing back." You are the problem. Stop giving so much to everyone else, and take care of yourself. The people in your life and those in your future will appreciate it. No need to reach for the chainsaw. No one worth knowing wants to be involved in a massacre.
Make your new project something productive, like your work. My website and my blog are rewarding, but they are still work. When I work on set, I make very good money. That's also my work. Doing all this work requires a lot of mental fitness and stamina. I have clients, brides and actors to take care of when I am at work, but the only thing I'm fixing is their hair and makeup. They like me because I'm a good listener, and I show up for them- the same way you should do for the people in your life... but you cannot do that when you're not eating right, sleeping and thinking rationally.
If someone tells you that you're selfish for taking good care of yourself, they aren't happy or healthy. Avoid those people, they will suck the joy out of you. Good people want good things. They work towards it.
My family still asks, “How do these extraordinary events happen to you?”
This question inspired the creation of this blog. Thanks to my dear friend Sam Mills for pushing me to document my journey at whatsbeanHappening.com. Yes, unusual circumstances do surround me... I possess the confidence to believe anything can happen and the resilience to thrive amidst adversity.
I have completed nearly 50 film and television projects in the past eight years. Do I still face detractors? Yes, some competitors mirror the playground bullies of my past. Their names change, but their mentality remains. Their opinions are irrelevant.
I write this for those who value authenticity. If you need a reminder of your value, I suggest you make a list. If you're unsure of where to start, I'll share some of mine!
SUPER POWER LIST
I am intuitive and perceptive
I am a strong communicator
I am confident and driven
I am stylish
I am loving
I am loyal
I am funny
I am intelligent
I am a talented cook
I am beautiful (inside and out)
I am passionate and courageous
I am a skilled makeup artist and entrepreneur
I am mentally strong and healthy
I am thoughtful and resourceful
I am personable and compassionate
I adore animals
I excel as a host
I am a devoted pet parent
I am engaging and very entertaining
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